


Vampire Kurt

by aerosmiley219



Category: The Good Wife (TV)
Genre: F/M, Halloween, Making Love, McHart, Vanilla, costume mixup
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-25
Updated: 2018-10-25
Packaged: 2019-08-07 12:36:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16408640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aerosmiley219/pseuds/aerosmiley219
Summary: Diane goes to a charity event for Will and is met with a happy surprise.





	Vampire Kurt

**Author's Note:**

> I saw "Vampire U" with Gary Cole and just fell in love with the idea of him being a vampire. So this came about. (The movie is cheesy but I LOVE IT)

“Please come to this event, Diane. It’s for charity.”

“I know. But I’ve never really been the ‘costume’ type of person.”

“It could be fun. Plus it will get your mind off of McVeigh.”

“What?”

“Oh come off it. We all know you’ve been thinking about him.”

Diane and Kurt hadn’t seen each other in quite some time since he’d been working out of state and it had become obvious to those who knew her the best that she was thinking about him. A lot.

“All?”

“Well. Me. I figured it out.”

She eyed him skeptically before bowing her head and admitting quietly, “I have.”

Will walked to her and put his hand on her arm. “It’s okay to have feelings for someone. Even if it is that right-wing cowboy.”

Diane smiled. “Thanks.” She sighed and looked up at her friend. “Okay. “Let’s do it. Got any ideas for a costume for me?”

“Really? Great!” He placed a kiss on her cheek before he started rattling off suggestions. “A naughty nurse. Or a naughty witch. Ooh! What about a naughty princess?”

She laughed. “It has to be naughty?”

“In my world it does.”

“Well in mine, it does not. I do like the idea of a queen though.”

He chuckled. “You would.”

She shrugged her shoulders. “And?”

“And I can pick you up a costume next week. Crown and all.”

“Ooh! A crown!” Her eyes widened in giddy anticipation.

“What’s a queen without her crown?” He played along.

“I do not know.” She smiled again. “What are you going as?”

“Well the girlfriend wants to go as Elvira and the handyman from the 80’s movie. But I’m trying to talk her out of making me look like one of the Village People.”

She let out a hearty laugh. “I would pay to see that.”

“So I’m going to find something that can be a happy medium.”

“This is will be good. Thanks for talking me into it.” She leaned forward and placed another kiss on his cheek. 

“You bet.” 

He rose to leave her office and offered, “I’ll have it dropped off here on Friday before the event. I’ll have Anna give you the details.”

“Thanks again, Will.”

“Any time.”

Will walked out of her office and stopped at his assistant’s desk to ask her to relay specifics. “Anna, would you mind getting Diane the details for the gala on Friday night?”

“Sure, Mister Gardner.”

“Thanks. Oh and I’m going to need you to make a few calls for me, too.”

“Not a problem. Just let me know to whom.”

Will smiled. “Thanks.” He began to walk off but stopped, “oh, and would you mind arranging delivery of costumes for Friday? I’d ask you to do it but it might just be easier to have them bring it up.”

“I don’t mind, Mister Gardner. As long as I can leave early…”

“Deal. I’ll get you details shortly. Thanks.”

~X~

“You can’t freaking be serious!”

He laughed, “What?”

“Me as Elvira? No.” She shook her head as she watched her partner giggle hysterically.

“But it’s for charity.”

“What happened to the queen idea?”

“They must have sent it to Gretchen by mistake. But it actually works out better this way. I’m going as a Prince Charming type character so it evens out. She might not be happy with the corset though.”

“But she would be okay with having a dress cut down to her navel?”

“Hey, I don’t make the rules.”

“You’re responsible for this! I cannot show my face in public…”

“I don’t think people will be looking at your face,” he interrupted, laughing even harder than before.

She sat down on her couch, still holding the costume, and slowly accepted her fate. “I can’t believe I’m considering this.”

“It’s for a good cause, remember? The kid’s hospital?”

Diane nodded.

“Do it for all those kids who can’t go trick or treating this year.”

“Now you’re just not playing fair.”

“Thank you Diane,” he replied, leaning forward to place a kiss on her cheek. “It starts at 8 so you might want to get to work on getting into that dress… Let me know if you need any help? Or any double sided tape?”

Will dodged Diane’s hand, laughing as he went back to his office.

Diane let out an exasperated sigh. “Okay. I can do this.” She looked around her office and saw a crystal glass. “With a helping hand from Johnnie Walker.” 

Two fingers of bourbon later, Diane was feeling a bit more relaxed. She walked into her bathroom and started to get ready. “How the hell do I even get into this thing?” 

However, after some contortions, several colorful curse words, and a lot of double sided tape, Diane was set. She put on the black bouffant wig and sighed before looking into the mirror. “Dear god.” 

Sure she had the curves to pull something like this off but if she ever wanted to be a judge she didn’t think this would help her chances. “I guess I’ll be a litigator for the rest of my life.” She stared in the mirror longer. “It’s for a good cause,” she reminded herself.

Diane put on the heavy makeup, fishnet stockings, fake black nails, pumps, and looked into the mirror once more. She laughed out loud. “This is ridiculous. But damn I look good.” 

A few minutes later, she called a cab and put on her long rain coat, figuring the fewer heads she turned before she got there the better.

The cab driver picked her up at the curb ten minutes later and didn’t even do a double take when his fare entered. He got her to the ballroom, smiled politely when Diane tipped him generously, then moved on with his night. He’d seen weirder.

She sighed deliberately once more before walking in to the hotel and towards the designated area. A young woman dressed as a sexy pirate, from what she could tell, took her coat and explained the layout of the room. 

“Food is appetizers, over on the left, and the bar is on the right.”

“Thank you.”

“No problem. Enjoy!”

Diane walked towards the group of folks when she heard the woman call after her, “you look amazing by the way.”

She smiled, gratefully. “Thanks.”

Diane walked straight to the bar and ordered two fingers of Jefferson’s Reserve, neat, and a shot of tequila. She took the shot first to help calm her nerves. The only thing it really did, though, was remind her of her college days. Chuckling to herself, she thought, “why not? Dressed like this, tequila seems appropriate.”

Taking the drink in hand, she turned around and searched the crowd for her tormentor. A few passes of the room later, Diane found him and, very delicately, walked in his direction.

The young woman he was with saw Diane first. Her eyes widened before she slapped Will. “That was supposed to be me getting those looks!”

“Huh?”

Will looked in the direction of her ire and saw Diane, decked out in the full Mistress of the Dark regalia and for a brief moment, his breath was taken away. “Wow.”

“You’re a dead man, Will Gardner. You know that, right?”

“You look amazing, Diane.” He leaned in to give her a ‘hello’ hug and kiss on the cheek.

Gretchen fumed, quietly.

“Well thank you. And you… Look at you.”

It was Diane’s turn to hold back a laugh. “Prince Charming, huh?”

“Yeah,” he replied, rolling his eyes.

“And you got my costume. It’s lovely. I like that you two match.” Diane smiled and offered her hand, “I’m Diane by the way.”

“Gretchen.”

Diane smiled politely and took a sip of her drink. “Good turnout, huh?” She remarked, trying to change the subject to something a bit less uncomfortable.

“Yeah, it’s not bad. The governor is supposed to make an appearance. I haven’t seen him yet, though.”

She cringed. “Great.” Her teeth clenched as she took another sip from her glass. “I’m, uh, I’m going to go check out the food. It was nice meeting you Gretchen.”

“Yeah,” she replied, still clearly upset over the mix-up. “Nice meeting you, too.”

Diane left the couple, pretending she didn’t hear Will begin to admonish his date. 

“Why do you have to be like that? She’s my coworker, for god’s sake!”

Diane smiled to herself. “I guess I make this work.” She looked around the room and made her way to the table, full of single bite, finger foods. On a napkin, she placed a piece of cheese on a cracker, two mini quiches, and a few grapes, just enough to fit in the palm of her free hand.

A few feet away, she noticed an empty table so she made her way over to it. Diane watched people circulate and still tried to make sense of why anyone would want to be a “sexy astronaut.” 

She quietly enjoyed her surroundings while eating and sipping her spirit, to be interrupted by an older gentlemen and someone who looked like she could be but was most certainly not his daughter. “May we?” He asked, gesturing to the empty table space.

“Sure. I was just about to wander off anyway.”

“No. Please stay,” the sexy punk rock chick beckoned. “I’m Michelle. And this dashing Harry Potter is Tom.”

Tom reached forward to shake Diane’s hand. “She wouldn’t let me go as someone more age appropriate. I wanted to be Dumbledore but she wasn’t having it.”

“No!” She replied. “You look adorable as Harry! Doesn’t he?”

Diane looked up and smiled at him, trying not to laugh when he rolled his eyes. “Very dashing. I’m Diane.”

“Hi Diane. I’m sure you’ve heard this like a thousand times tonight already but you look hot in that costume. Maybe I’ll be a hot goth chick next year,” she said to Tom.

“Elvira,” both Tom and Diane replied.

“Who? Oh well. She’s hot.”

“She’s… never mind,” Tom replied.

Diane chuckled audibly before she finished the last of her drink.

The couple talked with Diane for a few minutes, exchanging pleasantries and business cards, before Diane went for another drink, only then remembering her glass was empty. “It was nice meeting you. I’m sure you understand how important a refill is.”

“Oh definitely. And it was nice meeting you too, ‘Elvira’.”

Diane smiled as she walked away. “Who knew the punk rocker chick was a paralegal?” She thought to herself.

Another drink was ordered and given to her, quickly. “Thank you!”

She turned to watch the room when a low voice from behind her, interrupted her contemplation.

“Miss Lockhart. You look good enough to eat.”

Diane spun around, ready to toss her very expensive drink in someone’s face when she saw him. “Kurt?”

He smiled, showing off his fangs.

“What the hell are you doing here?” 

She set down her drink and wrapped her arms around him, planting a big kiss on him. Kurt stepped back and grinned. “Good to see you too.”

Diane looked at his face, still not quite believing what she was seeing. “I’ve missed you!”

“You think it was easy for me?”

“Oh my god!” She kissed him again. “Oh! Here!” She reached for a few cocktail napkins and offered them to him to wipe the blood red lipstick off of him, taking a few more to touch up her makeup.

“Thanks.” He took them and wiped his mouth and fangs before seating them back in his mouth. “I’ve been trying to figure out what to say for the last hour or so.”

“You’ve been here that long and you haven’t said anything?”

“Well, no. I’ve only been here for 15 minutes but I’ve been thinking about it.”

She chuckled. “Dracula, huh?”

“Elvira?” He countered, just as haughtily.

“I swear to god I didn’t plan this. I was supposed to be a queen. Will had this costume mix-up…”

“A ‘mix-up’ huh?” He cocked an eyebrow and waited for her to catch on.

“Are you kidding me?”

“Well, when he called me earlier this week, he’d fully intended on following through with that. I may have suggested a different idea.”

“You didn’t!” She blushed.

“I did.”

“You know you probably made Will a single man because of this. His girlfriend was not happy with this so called mix-up.”

Kurt laughed. “They were on the outs anyway.”

“How’d you know that?”

“I have my sources. Anyway I wasn’t sure you’d go through it with it. But good god am I glad you did.”

He wrapped his caped arms around her lower waist and pulled her close.

“Wanna get outta here?” She suggested.

“Not yet. I just got here.”

“But I didn’t!”

“I know. I at least want to say hi to Will.”

“That’s fair. I guess I should thank him, too.”

Diane took ahold of her drink and took another sip before offering it to him. Kurt took a sip and looked at her, “wow. Went for the expensive stuff tonight, huh?”

“I figured if I had to forfeit ever being a judge I might as well treat myself.”

He was quiet for a few beats before asking, “because of this getup?”

“Yes! No one would ever take a judge seriously who dressed up as the ‘Mistress of the Dark’!”

Kurt laughed. “I love that you know that nickname. And I think you might be selling yourself short. You never know.”

“Sure. Do you want something to drink? The finger foods are decent.” She gestured across the room at the table.

“One drink. Then I think I need to figure out how you got in that dress.”

“You did say you wanted to eat me, didn’t you?”

He groaned. “Oh yes.”

Kurt ordered a similar, yet less aged glass of whisky before putting his arm around her. “Shall we?”

They walked across the room and for the first time that night, that wasn’t alcohol induced, Diane didn’t care if everyone was staring.

Each surveyed the table and put together a handful of food and wandered to a partially open table. The other folks left after a few minutes of polite conversation, prompting Kurt to sigh, “finally. I thought we’d never get a moment to ourselves.” He leaned in and placed a kiss on her cheek, taking care to keep his false teeth in place.

“Well hello you two,” a voice interrupted.

Kurt groaned in frustration as Diane looked up and greeted their guest. “Will. I hear you had something to do with this?” She moved her finger back and forth between her and Kurt, who discarded his teeth in favor of a mini quiche.

“Guilty.”

“I guess I have to let you off the hook for the costume thing, now.”

Will grinned. “I thought you’d be forgiving.”

She shook her head. “You got lucky.”

“Thanks for that, by the way,” Kurt interjected. He raised his hand to shake the younger man’s. “Where’s your ‘queen’?”

“She took off not long after Diane waltzed in looking like that,”

Diane blushed. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. It was only a matter of time.”

She smiled demurely. “Thank you, though. This means a lot to me.”

He smiled back, trying not to blush himself. “You know how much this charity means to me. So I really appreciate you being here, stepping out of your comfort zone.” He took a sip of his scotch. “And for looking like that.”

All three laughed. 

“It kinda worked, huh?” She replied, still blushing.

“It does,” Kurt and Will replied in unison.

“Jinx. You owe me a coke,” Kurt joked.

“Does it have to be cold?”

Diane looked at him strangely. “What?”

“I don’t know. Maybe I need to eat something.”

“Yeah, maybe you do.”

“I’m going to get something to eat. I hope you two aren’t here when I get back.”

“You’re trying to get rid of us?”

“No. I just figured at least one of us should get lucky tonight. Cuz it probably won’t be me.”

Diane’s eyes widened. “Will!”

“Although, did you see that punk chick? She was kinda cute.”

She snorted. “She’s currently visiting Hogwarts. Good luck though.”

“Oh well.” He raised his glass to toast the couple. “See you Monday.”

“See you Monday.”

“Thanks.”

The couple toasted him and watched as he walked away.

“He’ll be fine. Who doesn’t want to ride Prince Charming?”

Kurt looked at her. “What?”

“Come on!”

“So I should have been Prince Charming?”

She snickered. “No. Absolutely not.” Diane took another sip and considered his question. “Although, I’d be curious as to what your pickup line would be.”

“I don’t know. I liked mine though.”

“Me too.”

“Speaking of…”

“I think that’s a great idea. Did you drive?”

She shook her head. “Took a cab. I had to take a drink to convince myself to leave the office in this.”

His hand moved to her ass. “Perfect.”

“Kurt, we’re in public!”

“No one can see us. Why’d you think I chose a spot with our backs to the wall?”

She rolled her eyes. 

He leaned in closer, “and the good thing about wearing a cape is that no one has to see how painfully hard you’ve made me right now.”

“What?”

Kurt nodded and took another sip from his glass.

Diane figured two could play at that game. She, too, took a sip from her glass as her hand drifted below the table. Kurt jerked when her hand touched his stomach but he did his best to hold it together, knowing full well where she’d end up.

“Oh my. You are hard, aren’t you?”

Kurt finished what was in his glass. “Yep.”

She followed suit, finishing her bourbon and setting the glass on the table. Diane gave him a firm squeeze. “What do you say we take this party back to my place?”

He slapped her ass once in reply, before putting in his teeth and taking her hand in his. “Did you bring a coat?”

“Oh. Yes. Um, left it with the sexy pirate?”

“Ah. You take care of that and I’ll get a cab. Meet you out front?”

“Sure.” She leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. “I’m really glad you’re here.”

He smiled and nodded once. “Me too.”

A cab was waiting when Diane walked out of the building a few minutes later, bundled in her coat.

Kurt helped her in then climbed in the other side. He gave her address and off they went.

“You know I wasn’t lying when I said I could make a meal out of you.”

She laughed. “If that’s all you’ve eaten tonight you just might have to.”

He put his hand on her thigh and nuzzled her ear. Diane’s eyes rolled back in her head. “Maybe… Maybe we should order in?”

“Nope. I’m gonna suck you dry.”

She giggled. “Is that part of the vampire thing?”

“Yes,” he panted as his fake teeth brushed her skin, sending chills up her spine.

“Oh Kurt,” Diane whimpered, betraying her arousal. She turned her head to kiss him but stopped to laugh when his fake teeth got in the way. “Can we save those for later, please?”

He pulled them out of his mouth and tucked them into a pocket before kissing her soundly. The couple made out like teenagers, Diane having to tell him to slow down as she didn’t want to be arrested for public indecency.

“But look at you. No judge would convict me.”

“Oh god. They’d never let me hear the end of it.”

Kurt chuckled. “Excuse me. I think we were in the middle of something important.”

“Hmm? Oh! Yes. But we’re almost there. Can you hold on for a bit longer?”

“Looks like I’m gonna have to.” He went back to her neck, sucking and nibbling, just enough to leave small spots she wouldn’t notice until the morning.

She put her hand on his thigh and squeezed. “Oh yes.”

True to her word, Diane and Kurt pulled up at her building a few minutes later. He paid the driver and quickly exited the cab to help her out of it. They walked to her front door, “you look amazing from this angle.”

“I look amazing from all angles,” she joked back.

“That you do.” Kurt pressed his body against hers and kissed her neck, nibbling a bit harder than he really should have.

“Kurt! Careful!”

“It’s not Kurt. It’s ‘Count’.”

He licked the spot on her neck that he’d just bitten. “I’ll lick it and make it better.”

“Promise?”

She opened the door and they walked in. 

“You bet your sweet ass.”

“Count, I don’t know what’s gotten into you but…” She raised an eyebrow and dropped her coat, letting her costume come out to play.

Kurt turned on the lights and once again took in Diane wearing a long, black, low cut, black dress, black stilettos, a black wig, and fishnet stockings. “Good lord.”

Without thinking, Kurt was on her, using his body to pin her against the wall, his mouth on her neck.

Diane gasped then giggled, “oh!”

He kissed down her neck, in between her breasts, down to the bottom of the ‘v’, and dropped to his knees. Kurt placed his hands on her hips as he kissed her hips and lower tummy.

“Let me get out of these heels,” she panted.

“No. Leave them on.”

She chuckled. “But my feet hurt.”

Kurt grunted as he rose. He looked her in the eyes, bent at the knees and picked her up, tossing her over her shoulder, fireman style.

“Kurt!”

He walked them to the bedroom, flicked the light on and placed her on her bed. “Leave them on.”

Kurt grinned as he got to his knees in front of her and began kissing her lower body once more.

“Mm,” she cooed.

He pushed her dress up to her hips and groaned again when he saw her fishnet stockings. “Do you own these?”

“Huh?” She sat up on her elbows and looked down at him.

“Do you own these fishnets?”

“Uh. Yeah. Why?”

“Because I need to do this.” He placed his hands between her thighs and pulled, hard, ripping a large hole her stockings.

“Kurt! You could have asked me to take them off!”

“Nope.” He latched on to the thin piece of fabric preventing him from tasting her. “I’ve always wanted to do that.”

Kurt moved her legs to his shoulders as he teased her.

“Please?”

He smiled as he pulled back, and kissed up her thigh and back down to the other, where he stopped at the crease of her thigh and licked before nibbling gently.

“What are you doing?”

“Enjoying my meal. You don’t like it?”

“I love it. But… you’re so close. Please don’t tease me anymore.”

He chuckled as he started up her thigh and began sucking, hard.

“Oh! Hey!”

Kurt’s fingers pushed aside her panties and easily slid into her wet slit.

“Oh,” she moaned, falling back on to the bed.

He slid them in and around for several minutes while he continued on his love bite. At this point, she felt so good she didn’t even realize he was leaving a hickey.

Kurt removed his fingers from within her and quickly rubbed her clit.

“Oh shit!”

“Mm,” he moaned into her tender flesh, once, before pulling back to admire his handiwork. “Beautiful.”

“What?” She panted.

“Nothing.” He kissed the soon to be purple bruise on her inner thigh as he pushed himself up to stand in front of her before placing his fingers on her swollen clit once more.

“That feels so good,” she cooed.

Diane moved one of her legs up and placed the heeled ball of her foot on his groin, massaging gently.

Kurt grunted at this move, pushing back into her to encourage her to continue.

She pressed a bit harder and grinned at him.

He removed his fingers from her and licked them clean before reaching down to his slacks and pulling down the zipper.

Diane watched, giddily anticipating what was to come next. They hadn’t been together in quite some time and good god her body missed him.

Kurt undid the button then let his pants fall to the floor. He approached her and leaned over her, his cape covering them both.

She smiled, staring into his eyes, as she reached down to shimmy out of her panties, but he stopped her. Kurt gripped his thick length and pulled her black thong aside, sliding himself in her wetness.

“Kurt? It’s been a while.”

He nodded, understanding her unspoken statement. Truth be told he hadn’t been with anyone since the last time they were together so he’d planned on taking it slow. But now that he knew she hadn’t either and would probably be a little stiff, he knew how she needed to be touched.

Kurt kissed her deeply, passionately.

She whimpered as his head split her folds.

He pushed gently, holding himself in place for several moments while her body got used to him. 

Diane wrapped her legs around his hips and slowly pulled him further into her. “Mmhm,” she moaned into his mouth, begging for more.

Kurt continued his slow pace, not yet moving all of himself into her before pulling back then pushing in again, more each time.

She moved her head back to catch a breath, “more.”

“You sure?”

“Yes. Please?”

He continued on and watched her face for any signs of discomfort. Instead, surprisingly, he found frustration. “Please?” She sobbed.

Kurt laughed as he pushed all of himself into her.

“Oh god,” she groaned from deep within. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too.” He kissed her as he continued on with the slow pace.

Diane’s hips relaxed, her legs hooking around the backs of his thighs as they made love to each other. The urgency from a few minutes ago had all but disappeared; their bodies had truly missed one another’s.

Time passed quickly as they reconnected in a way they didn’t know they’d needed.

Kurt began thrusting faster when he felt Diane’s muscles tensing. He knew she was close and needed to give her this release.

“Kurt,” she moaned. “Yes!”

His pace increased as he felt his own climax nearing. 

“Oh,” she groaned.

“Yeah.”

“Please?”

“Cum for me.”

She licked her upper lip then bit down on her lower. Her legs wrapped around his hips as she started fucking him back.

“Yes!”

“Diane!”

“Kurt!”

He came first, slamming his body into hers hard and deep, grinding as he began to pulse within her, which was just enough to set off her orgasm.

“Shit!”

Their bodies shook. She screamed. He cursed

Diane’s nails dug into his shoulder, causing all but two of the acrylic attachments to snap off.

He continued to push into her as her body began to relax. 

She kissed him and held him tight, with every part of her body.

Kurt howled as his last few thrusts did him in. His body collapsed on top of hers. He gasped for air as his head rested on the bed next to hers.

Once his breathing began to slow, Kurt kissed her neck, grazing his teeth along her skin in the process.

Diane giggled. “Going to bite me?”

Kurt pushed himself up on to his elbows before rolling over on to the bed next to her. “I’m sated.”

She chuckled. 

He reached over and took ahold of her hand in his, interlacing their fingers before resting it between them.

“Can I at least take off the shoes now?”

“Only if you put ‘em back on later.”

“Later? I’d like to be able to walk tomorrow!”

He moved their hands up to his mouth and kissed them. “Tomorrow’s Saturday and I’m in town all weekend. Besides, walking is overrated. You should call in sick.”

“And say what? Count Dracula fucked the life out of me?”

Kurt let out a loud laugh. “It is Halloween.”


End file.
